ISO: BIG, HARD WOODen bench ASAP

Binghamton NY

Description

I will compensate you with something nice that you can eat before I put you to work. Once your finished with your food, then I'm goin need to sit down. My ass is a lil' fat, so NO skinny or slim seats. CLEAN seats ONLY. A HARD, WIDE bench would be appreciated. I need your hands to make adjustments to my "cushion" - sometimes my cushion gets so saturated, it squirts out. I need ALL the water out. I'll even paint your bench with it, if you want. Please be an experienced carpenter with an APPETITE, a LARGE HAMMER, and a HEAVY HAND. SEND PIC OF YOUR BENCH.