Like theory and hate drama? Then am I the guitarist for you!

Washington DC

Description

Are you bored by just counting to 4 and repeating? Tired of staying in the same key for the whole song? Wish that 5th was flat and that 6th was sharp? Who am I kidding; Of course you do! I'm not just "a" guitarist. I'm THE guitarist you've been searching for all along. Over the past several years I've been honing my style to something truly unique. It's not just that I know my theory, it's that nobody else sounds like me. Thanks to my patented tuning (A E A D F# B E) and uncanny use of inversions, I'll be the driving factor that makes your band stand out from all the others. What's the difference between a rock guitarist and a jazz guitarist? A rock guitarist plays 3 chords in front of 1000 people and a jazz guitarist plays 1000 chords in front of 3 people. Get it? I got jokes, too! Hey! What's that sound? Well, it's not my BS because when I turn up I scoop the drama, not the mids. Still not convinced? I got a catalogue of 50 original songs ready to go. Some of them are absolute bangers. Some set the mood for when you want to transcend to another plane of existence. And yet some you just want to listen to on repeat. "Wait. Did I count 7 strings earlier?" You sure did! I also play 6 strings in various tunings when the mood hits me. "You mentioned no drama." Yup! Just like the first time you use a new mic on stage, I keep my ego in check. "Are you going to keep making these bad puns?" Uh-huh. That's how eye roll. So what are you waiting for? You've been scrolling craigslist for a while and haven't found anyone else this cool. So reply now and we'll rock out with our clocks out, because after recording 4 e.p.s in the studio I know how to play to a metronome!