Alone

Tulsa OK

Description

IDK if anyone will ever see this or care for that matter. The last few years have grown more and more miserable and I can't go on. I know I'm a coward for this and I expect no sympathy but maybe my words will keep others from this fate. My life has been a struggle from the start. I was abandoned by my mother when I was a few days old, I have never known my father or even what his name is but I don't hold a grudge toward either of them. how could I? I know nothing about them and never will. At least they won't ever know what kind of loser I turned out to be. over the years things have stayed par for the course. one heart break after another and nobody to turn to, nowhere to go and now finally no reason to keep going. for a lot of years I kept telling myself to just keep going and everything would work out, hoping and praying that someday I would find love, happiness, friendship or a family but instead all I have found is hurt, lies, betrayal and sadness. I was married twice, both wives cheated openly with men they would meet on dating sites and lied constantly. I thought about confronting the men they were cheating with, or posting their names and pictures so everyone including their wives and children would know what they had done. I have a daughter that I barely know from a fling in highschool. I love my daughter more than life itself and would move heaven and earth for her but she wants nothing to do with me. I would give anything for her to know how much I love her and always will. I want her to know that I was there for softball games and dance recitals but I was forced to watch from a distance. princess I'm so proud of you and nothing will ever change that just like nothing will ever stop me from loving you. I recently lost my job and haven't been able to find another. I work manual labor and suffered a heat stroke that lead to nerve damage because the company doesn't allow breaks or provide anyway of cooling off including water and ice. They also kept all my personal tools which were worth a few thousand dollars. insult to injury. i filed for unemployment but was denied. I tried to find out why and to file an appeal but I just get put on hold for hours or transferred back and forth until the call gets dropped. Thanks for all the help state government of Oklahoma. My identity was also stolen during this time period and my credit completely ruined. then my house burned down. it was ruled a no fault accident but everyone knows my 2nd ex wife and her still married fiance did it but what can you expect from a volunteer fire department. All those things plus more have left me homeless, jobless, completely broke and nothing to live for. I'm willing to sell anything I have left very cheap so my last meal isn't from a dumpster. I can't take it with me when I go anyway. I wish I had clean clothes to be buried in. Thank you for your time. I hope if anyone reads this that my words will inspire you to help others when you can and cherish everything positive in your life. Let those you love know it every chance you get. Anyone interested in buying what's left of my life please contact me ASAP. couple SUV'S, some guns, ammo and assorted sentimental items are all that's left