Loss …

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Scotts Valley CA

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How many opportunities did I miss, to try to talk you into getting vaccinated? To try to convince you that possible exposure to an earlier strain doesn’t translate to immunity? To try to talk you into listening to the news, believing the stories about vaccinated people being carriers, to practice extreme social isolation if you simply couldn’t bear the “consequences” of the vaccine. Could I have changed your mind? Maybe not. But I should have really tried. You gave me so many opportunities to change your mind. Each time, I gave up, feeling overwhelmed by helplessness, powerlessness, futility. It’s not my fault … it was your decision, after all. But I’ll never know if I might have made a difference. And now, faced with the prospect of very possibly losing you to this virus, I’m overwhelmed with sorrow. I cannot bear to lose you. Not now … Hang on, be strong. Fight now for every moment. Let me lose myself in despair tonight such that you might borrow life and strength and hope from me, so you may carry on. Please feel this ….

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