MR misses JR

San Francisco CA

Description

Safety in relationships is a two way street. If one or both of us didn't feel safe then we both should have worked on establishing more trust. You ran every time I really needed you. I didn't feel important to you. You were always planning to leave me - at least that's how it felt. How could I make you feel safe when you did little to help me to feel safe? And now I know about your emotional infidelity with her. I can't listen to any song you sent me without wondering if you sent it to her first, or to her at all. I wish we could have tried to work things out, but you ran and abandoned me - and both of us had whatever sense of safety we had with one another shattered. I still don't think it's too late to try to repair what was broken. But we'd have to start from the beginning again, and I'm not convinced that I was ever important enough to you for you to actually want to try to heal one another and create that safety that neither of us ever feel, except with our lovers who now have passed. I don't want to marry death. I had wanted to marry you and would have suffered through all of if I thought we could be what we needed for each other. I feel so pathetic reaching out this way, but I miss what good we had and can't believe that you don't either.