This ferret F@$&ING Parties

Monson MA

Description

Fiona prowls like a cheetah. With grace and determination. She might be small in size, but she lives big! Fiona posed as a dog for 3 months and got a job as Kim Kardashian’s purse puppy. Kim still credits Fiona for introducing her to Kanye. But eventually Fiona could see the writing on the wall...one of them was gonna eventually figure out she’s not a dog...she had to go. So at the next big social event Fiona snuck out of Kim Kardashians purse and into Billy Eyelashes oversized hoodie. There, she lived completely unnoticed for the better part of a month. From inside the hoodie, Fiona started managing a K-pop group. All the stress and responsibilities....the partying...it all started to take its toll on her. She got off the road completely when the partying had gone too far...one night in particular involving an alleged hostage situation...Fiona had developed a substance abuse problem. She couldn’t even look herself in the mirror, for what she’d become. It was a dark night of the soul for the old girl. But Fiona got clean. Got into a good program. Today Fiona loves Fiona. She likes to paint and sell her homemade crafts on ETSY. My point is that Fiona has found peace. Serenity. Her shits are aggressive. Fiona started dabbling in the performing arts herself a few years back. But she’s since retired. She felt her talents were best left backstage. Although, whilst being a performer she did win 3 rap battles and get an honorable mention at a spoken word poetry jam....just saying. Recently Fiona was invited to Obama’s birthday bash. While she was honored for the invite, she respectfully declined because she didn’t think it complied with the covid mandates. Fiona is very covid cool. Anyway it’s time for this old bird to get ramblin’ on. Time for the next chapter in her life. Crate included.