Best friends

Beaverton OR

Description

I collapse into the old chair on my deck and sip my coffee warm. I needed the liquid to wash over all my senses this morning, because this particular morning I woke up before the sun did. There's a sort of emptiness and longing nagging and tugging at my sleeve, much like a small child asking for candy at the grocery store. I've been wanting to reach out for days, but haven't. See I'm haunted by the absence of you because all our friends from that house have dropped dead this last year and I cannot manage another loss without going cold to it all. You dont text, call, ask me how I am. Neither do I, I suppose. I suddenly feel like all the words i spoke into existence while you listened patiently were probably stupid. I should have spent that time laughing or dancing with you. Mostly I just want to say I miss you. I've seen parts of the world with you and learned so much with you. I've never been good at letting go. There's so much to fill you in on, you would be so happy for me. I think you would. Maybe you could give me advice. I miss you but I understand that people grow apart. I understand that you are too busy. I just never thought that I would pause when someone asked me how you're doing, because I truly dont know. Thinking of you always.