H.G.

NE 9th near Skidmore, Portland OR

Description

I’m sorry. We were supposed to catch up in person, but my partner would not let me hear the end of it after I ran into you. I was so happy to see you, and he made me feel bad. I miss your friendship, I miss your understanding, I miss how your companionship made me feel safe. If you see this just know I wanted to see you again, but I wasn’t allowed. I keep replaying you coming into my bedroom drunk on New Years Eve. I loved how every time we met up the first thing we did was lay on my bed and you would catch me up on your week so enthusiastically, and most of the time we would trade gifts too. I still have the crystals and I still write in my journal. I don’t know this is turning into verbal vomit. The person who loves me and I love now is frequently unkind to me. You told me you needed six months at least to heal, and I don’t know why, but I couldn’t wait, I thought I needed to be in a relationship. I’m not going to say that if I had waited, I would have gotten that from you, but everything could’ve played out between us the way it was going to, and I would’ve gotten to experience your kindness and your friendship longer. Things were so easy in my life when I knew you, and now they feel so hard. Every person leaves you with a gift, so if you see this I want you to know that I am a more thoughtful and outgoing person because I knew you. Thank you.