M.H.

Flushing MI

Description

It’s been over 8 months since I have seen your face or heard your voice. You once were the first thought on my mind when I woke and the last thought before I laid down to rest. The only difference between then and now is that I no longer have the opportunity to hold you, to see you, to be in your company and to just enjoy you. I really saw a future with you. Head over heels only begins to describe the feelings I had towards you. You made me want to be the best me I could be for you. At a time where I never thought I could love again you gave me hope, I felt something again and instead of bottling it up inside I decided to tell you how I felt about you and with 6 little words you managed to crush me. “I hate that you said that”. Those words still echo through my mind. They haunt me at random times throughout the day, those words keep me up at night and like a million little daggers plunging into me, into my heart…I feel like I am dying a death of a thousand paper cuts every time I replay that moment in my head. I bared my soul. I let my walls down, made myself as vulnerable as I have been in YEARS and told you that I’m close to telling you that I love you and your response was “I hate that you said that”. Well, I can tell you with certainty that it’ll never happen again. I can never and will never again utter those words. I don’t regret saying it because as you well know, I might not have had another day to tell you…but those words…those words will forever stay with me. I hate that you said that.