If Trump still had Twitter

Washington DC

Description

here's what he'd be tweeting today: "I defeated Afghanistan when I was President. The mainstream media is lying. Afghanistan was so defeated when I was President that they begged me to quit defeating them. I went over there on a secret mission, just me and the pilot, and I did a Rambo style operation. Didn't even need the one gun I brought. I beat their entire army senseless and then had several "dates" with their best looking prostitutes which I paid for with PAC money I collected to fight voter fraud. It's my money to do with what I like and I like hookers. Anyway, the King of Afghanistan said I was a very tough guy and a stable genius too. He said he had no chance against me and that he'd respect America from now on. But as soon as the election was stolen from me and the King saw how weak Biden, Pelosi, the Democrats, and our "woke" troops were, he changed his mind. The Democrats are easy to defeat. Unless they're cheating. Which they always do. Send me more money and I'll use it to retake Afghanistan and restore America's pride though I don't have to use the money for that if I decide to use it for something else."