Sequoia Park Zoo Wants Your Hedge Clippings

Eureka CA

Description

According to the Lost Coast Outhouse, our source for all that's true in Humboldt County: The Sequoia Park Zoo Is Asking for Bamboo Donations to Help Feed Its Hungry Red Pandas The Sequoia Park Zoo is asking the public for bamboo clippings to help feed some of its leaf-munching critters. “Do you have bamboo growing in your garden? You can donate bamboo to help feed our red pandas and other leaf-loving animal friends!” the zoo announced on social media this week. “All bamboo must be freshly cut and organic.” The zoo is accepting bamboo donations every day of the week except Mondays from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. Donors can drop off their bamboo at the zoo’s front gate and will be asked to complete a donation form. For more information, contact the zoo staff at . ... or, you know, we could just admit that our ambitions exceed our pocketbook, and give the pandas to a wildlife refuge, ideally, one that can afford to feed their pandas. You'll be doing the pandas a favor. They aren't native to here and neither is their food, if you haven't noticed. And the odds are good they will end up hooked on meth - it's only a matter of time before some genius thinks of offering them some, and then you'll have pandas whoring for another line, pandas shooting each other over bitches, pandas running meth kitchens, fires at the zoo, other species getting hooked, who knows where this will end. And if by some miracle the pandas miss all that, you KNOW there's gonna be a moron with a bag full of bamboo clippings that his neighbor just dosed with some weed killer, and then you'll have dead, rotting pandas, and a lot of finger-pointing, mine included. Just send the friggin' pandas somewhere where they'll stand a better chance of surviving. Eh? Eureka should restrict itself to running a petting zoo for small children. I'm serious. You're a little fucking nobody city full of retired crack whores and car thieves with a recent history of being a drug peddlers who are all now back to being crack whores and car thieves. If you had any decency you would be chasing tourists away, not trying to attract them here.