Things left unsaid

Esplanade Ave near E. Lassen Ave, Chico CA

Description

We work together and you are in a committed relationship and my life is in complete turmoil. I am not the cheating type so I would never do anything to compromise you or your relationship. My relationship is damaged far beyond repair despite my desperation to fix it. I am embarrassed by the fact that everyone seems to be aware of it. I know we have a connection and it confuses me entirely. I enjoy every moment we have together. Despite a decade in age difference I feel I have more in common with you than I do with anyone else. Which is strange considering the fact that you are a very private person. It makes me feel strange to feel like I know you without really knowing you. Sometimes I can feel you watching me and I try to ignore it. Sometimes we make eye contact unintentionally and there always seems to be understanding and acknowledgement in those moments. I feel vulnerable with you, but I appreciate the way you never pry or seem to judge me. Thank you. I can tell when there are moments you try to be closer and I feel a sense of comfort but my nerves usually get the best of me because I am afraid of letting you be closer to me. I don't want to acknowledge or admit to myself that I enjoy your close proximity. Your voice alone brings me to a calm. I always appreciate your perspective and I enjoy the way your mind works. I look forward to seeing you each day. I find myself missing you and your voice. It frustrates me to no end that I have found myself feeling this way about someone I shouldn't. I will do my best to ignore those feelings in your presence. I find you to be incredibly handsome and I am very attracted to you physically and mentally. I am sorry if my attraction to you has become obvious at any point. I do not intend to ever put you in a position that would make you feel uncomfortable. I know I smile when you are speaking about the things you are passionate/curious about and I have yet to master the ability to conceal it. I'll do my best. I appreciate the ways you try to help and I am sorry for all the times you have had to pick up my slack. I don't know why I am putting this here other than I can hide behind the anonymity in order to acknowledge these feelings and to tell you I am sorry if I have in any way made you feel uncomfortable. I hope that happiness is always present in your life. I do not expect you to respond or even acknowledge this. I just hope you know that I care about you and I hope it can bring you some sense of comfort that I will never act upon these feelings because I not only respect you tremendously, but I also respect your relationship. If you do choose to respond please answer these questions in your email response: How long have I worked with you? What are your initials? How old are you?