Mission Street Safeway

2203 Mission St., Santa Cruz CA

Description

I was driving up Swift St. this Saturday July, 24th 2021 (around 5-6ish PM?) with a friend when I drove past you walking with a tall bearded man. You were walking with him with your tan/brown leather purse backpack dressed in black with your beautiful hair braided in two. I saw you almost trip as you were walking and our eyes first met, I almost lost sight of the road myself and my friend had to scold me for my driving. I had to explain to him the beauty I had just experienced, that I thought would be gone and lost forever... You were so cute and adorable, yet alluring and goddess in so many ways to me. Your shiny black hair braided into pony tails, parted at the scalp, glistening in the setting sun. Your petite frame fitted snuggly in all black leotards/yoga pants and blacktop. Your brown leather/pleather backpack. As I parked at Safeway I sorrowfully thought of how I would never see you again and told my friend the cruel jest of fate and prepared to lock up the car for a shopping excursion.... there you were again! Walking into the Safeway! I, excited once again, hurried into the Safeway and scanned the aisles until I found you again. I nervously peeked to just see you one more time, your back was turned shopping with the tall blond bearded man so I thought to walk around and peek from the other end of the aisle. When I made it to the other side, you both were gone and my heart sank as I scoured other aisles to no avail. Saddened and feeling defeated, I went to grab a gallon of orange juice, certain of my fate to ponder your beautiful face and the embrace of the loss for the rest of my life. As I went to stand in the crowded full-service shopping line to complete my purchase, across the way at the self-check-out lane, there you were again! My heart raced in longing. I wanted to just run into you, hold you, rest my head into you, every fiber of my frame longing to lock with your being in an eternal embrace of blissful completion and wholeness. (I'm probably not even describing this correctly, it defies my conventional knowledge and experience.) I saw you staring and fixated on me with those amazing mysterious eyes but was afraid to look back. I wanted to just look back into your eyes and get lost, but I feared being disrespectful to your company (guy/man/lumberjack) who was busily scanning your grocery items. At the same time, ouch ouch ouch.... every second was another second lost, that I could have spent in your eyes. I wasted those precious seconds to protect pride perhaps, to not waste my heart on a taken soul, regardless of the giant magnet the universe was coursing over my soul. Respectfulness to a man I do not even know when the love of my life is begging and longing for me...I turned my head away, but my racing heart could not ignore and my mind would drown in the ponderings of the fabricated scenarios of what could have been in so many unrealistic ways... while all the while, clenching the handle of my gallon of orange juice, in complete confidence that I am just another shopper, nothing magical happening over here folks. I do not know who this man was. A friend? A relative? Your husband? Your boyfriend? Regardless of who he is, I had to finally gain the courage to turn my head to watch your leather backpack walk out the Safeway exit doors as I stood in my ridiculously long line knowing that my beautiful dream had ended once again. That electricity and chemistry, so cosmic and traversing beyond my grasp of distance and time. How could I feel so much from such simple little glances from so far away? Is fate cruel enough to place us so close, yet separate us, never to be seen again? Is fate so cruel as to just taunt me like this? I'm hoping you feel as betrayed as I do and seek vengeance with me so that I may see your beautiful face again. My heart WILL NOT be still. My mind keeps painting your beautiful hair and face....over and over. I'm posting this now. My 21st-century message in a bottle. If you read this, you know who you are and you know who I am, here is my hand. I want to say hello, even if it means an awkward wave...standing stupidly in place to introduce my name. I can't bear the thought of forever. I can say right now, I LOVE YOU. 👁️‍🗨️🖤🖤🖤💣💥🌟🌠 It's been a long and harrowing journey. I had no idea you were missing from my life. I have so many stories to share with you on my journey to you, to us. I need you, I really do. I am battle hardened and alone at his point and can't wait to be free in your embrace.