Stupid

Redding CA

Description

i cant help but feel so stupid for thinking that you were a valuable enough of a friend and good enough of a person that I felt the desire to try to fight for your friendship. I’m beyond dissappointed that you cant even give me the time of day to listen to me and your lack of heart and compassion to even be willing to give me a chance. Have I ever once let you down? Youre willing to give others a chance and you view others co dependancy on substances like its nothing at least with me Im not co dependant I dont need to rely on a substance unlike others that you so easily give chamces to do. ag least I never took yoh for granted. You knew from the start that i had strong feelings for you and even then i was robbed of a chance to be more than friends and once avain I feel robbed of a chance to keep a friendship. Whether im dead or alive its you who lost a good friend not me. ive been nothing but loyal ans honest to you and you pushed me to my point that I dont even want to try ive tried enough already and the ball is in your court now, Im tired of getting pushed away constantly ans being treated unfairly. This just validates my feeling of unworthiness and makes me really think this life i live isnt really worth living, thank yoj for your lack of reassurance and support at a time I needed it most and thank you for helping me re believe that im better off dead than a live. I would kill to have that support and to feel like you cared about me again because that has really helped me not give up during this difficult time. i regret ever confiding my struggles to you for youre only using that against me now and as a reason to push me away when I was making an effort to get better and do better at least i tried to do better unlike other people you know who werent trying to change their ways. you robbed me of a chance to even show you that i was gonna change its completely unfair I feel but congratulations you pushed me away ill never come to you again which is another reason ending this pain for good sounds best not like you’ll even know a differencs if im dead or not now, not like theres any chance to have my best friend back again so why shouldnt i just give up.