Duck Tutoring

Tehama CA

Description

I have tutored ducks in Asia for much of my father's childhood, and am ecstatic to bring these services to you! I can tutor your fowl in the following areas: - Probability and Statistics - Wearing Pants - Advanced Ice Chipping - Contemporary Harpsichord - Crunking for Christ - Mating Rituals of the Future - Lint Folding, or Flolding As with all things esoteric, I do not insist on a trained audience. Isn't ham glaze amazing? Wilma, put DOWN that cattle prod! Let's all just pretend we had more hair. Do you know what I like? FELDSPAR!! Now, let's see if we can do those elbow exercises. Watch out for my noodles!! They can sting you. Hire me to teach your duck. Only 4 students will be accepted. If any duck performs poorly I will cook them and serve them to be eaten by strangers during an upcoming holiday. OK, get back to work, losers! Don't make me get ugly! Whoops...too late. $519/hour. Tuesdays.frim 3am to 8am. October and November 2034. Cheese required.