When Family Members Don’t Share Your Pride

Newton MA

28 June, 2021

3:54 PM

Description

When Family Members Don’t Share Your Pride: Protect Your Loved Ones with an Airtight Estate Plan Pride Month is a wonderful celebration of the LGBTQIA+ community to which I belong—and a public validation that everyone’s dreams and voices matter. But despite the gradual transformation of societal mores, many members of our community worry about not being heard and honored by their own families—particularly when facing a serious illness or death. As an attorney, I witnessed these worries when COVID-19 began. Individuals’ fears were wide ranging. Gay and lesbian clients who were estranged from their families feared that if the pandemic struck them down, their parents could inherit money intended for their same-sex partners. Transgender individuals, terrified that they could be buried under their dead (former) names, were pleading to “make my family celebrate the whole me” if anything happened. These worries aren’t evaporating as we see fewer COVID-19 cases. All of us still need to ensure that our wishes will be respected by developing airtight estate plans: Create or revise a will: This is the document for specifying who should receive your assets, and who should serve as guardians of your minor children. Should you die without one, the very scenarios you are trying to avoid could materialize. For instance, if you are unmarried, state law could deem your parents as your beneficiaries, even if you have lived with a partner for 15 years. Another example: If you have separate bank accounts from your spouse, and there are no minor heirs, your parents could be entitled to a portion of that money. Moreover, if federal laws ever change, and same-sex marriage is struck down, then you could be considered divorced. Add a clause to your will specifying that even if that happens, your current spouse would still be your sole beneficiary. Complete a healthcare proxy: This names the person who should make your healthcare decisions if you are incapacitated. Without it, doctors will have to consider the input of all potential next of kin (parents, siblings, etc.), who may influence decisions in ways you wouldn’t want. The proxy should be accompanied by a Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Release (HIPAA), so the person you designate can also access all your medical information. Consider a Declaration for Disposition of Last Remains or similar documentation (depending on your state): This can be especially helpful for members of the trans community—so you are not buried under your dead name, or in the wrong clothing for your gender, or according to a religion that doesn’t reflect who you are. Designate a Durable Power of Attorney: This person will be able to manage your finances and make legal decisions if you cannot. Talk with your parents: As you button up your own estate plans, this is also the time to suggest that your parents do the same. If they want to leave money to your children, for example, they’ll need to ensure that their wills specify that grandchildren are considered heirs “by blood or adoption” or even “by law”. If you are a “non blood parent” sharing a child with a spouse, complete a confirmatory adoption at the same time to protect your children’s inheritance. The LGBTQIA+ community has so much to celebrate this year as we return to “near normalcy.” A thoughtful estate plan will free each of us to build the lives we want—knowing our assets and our loved ones will be protected if the unexpected happens. Waltham resident Annika Bockius-Suwyn is an estate planning and probate attorney at DangerLaw, LLC, Newton, Mass. She also serves on the Board of Directors for GLAD (GLBTQ Legal Advocates & Defenders). Contact her at [email protected] or 617-340-3231. This announcement may be considered legal advertising under the Rules of Professional Conduct. Nothing contained herein shall be construed as legal advice.