Producer forming Gig Band! Musicians Wanted!

Santa Cruz CA

Description

Wanted Musicians for low pay and free gigs! We are looking for: 1) Lead female singer- Almost good enough voice, struggles with weight and drinking and antidepressants. Has abandonment issues, clingy, dramatic, wants to talk about her issues for 45 minutes before and after rehearsals and gigs. Does not help get up or tear down, cries at rehearsals. 2) Bass Player- Decent chops, able to criticize the drummer and guitar player live while at a gig. Able to turn up volume and act mad when mad. Ability to be chronically malcontent. Somewhat reliable, ability to bum cigarettes and drinks. Good complainer. 3) Lead Guitar Player- Knows at least 4 obscure songs that nobody likes or knows, can play 2 chord jams for 1 hour. Ability to play decent lead and rhythm, increase volume and speed when excited. Knowledge of how to spot hot women at the gig and play in front of them. Ability to be first to ask for gig payment. 4) Rhythm guitar Player- Ability to drink and smoke cannabis before gig to calm his/her nerves. Does not know material well and does not prepare. Drinks at gig and turns down to hide his incapabilities, ability to blame others for his/her mistakes. 5) Drummer- Ability to warm up and tune drums for over 40 minutes at start time. Can show up late with amazing, almost believable excuses, has unreliable transportation, never returns calls or texts to confirm a gig. If you qualify for any of these band positions, we have multiple upcoming gigs! Mainly at venues in outskirt towns, at restaurants, clubs and sports bars, parties, local fairs with a 1-3 hours drive minimum. Gigs pay by 10% of bar take plus tips, divided among band! Many gigs offer payment of free food and/or 2 drinks each. Some are for a good cause and exposure! If this sounds like you'd be a good fit, please reply with your qualifications, experience and links to your work. Must have own equipment. Only serious inquiries will be considered. Rehearsal space rental will be compensated by gig payments.