I miss you, forever.

Lake City FL

Description

I wonder if I’ll ever get to say that to you again, directly. I miss you so much sometimes I feel its physically in my throat. I feel like it’s suffocating me. You’ve made it so clear there’s no longer any place for me in your life, but I think back constantly on how you were with me, how you always showed me so much love, even when you tried not to, and I just can’t understand why you disappeared this last time. The others times, I could explain it to myself as something I did wrong. This time, I just… don’t know. I didn’t do anything wrong this time. I fought so hard last year to just not lose you, again. And yet, no matter what I did or how hard I tried, you still left me, again. I’ll never understand, because I know how much you loved me. So I just can’t make myself understand or wrap my head around it in the last seven months. Forgiving you this time has been the hardest time I’ve ever had forgiving you for anything. I’m trying, but I’m just so… lost. So hurt. And I miss you so much. I’m still so in love with you B. The space where you used to be in my life is still just there, and just as empty as it ever was. I miss the sound of your voice. I hate that when my phone rings, my heart doesn’t stop for just a moment anymore- that I’ve gotten used to the fact that you won’t call. I hope you somehow see this. And someday, come back to me. Because I will always want you.