my happily ever after

Albuquerque NM

Description

I held on with hope to us for so long. I refused to let go. Your actions showed clearly that you needed to be free. In all these years, with all the seperations, I believed if I could love you enough, I could silence your past. I never doubted our future. You were my future. I see now that I should have let you have the freedom you wanted long ago. We are both paying the price for my decision in the loss a friendship no longer possible. I have to take the blame for allowing the disrespect, the degrading names, the women (both online and inperson) because I allowed it to continue. The years of this damage to me destroyed the me that I was. It will take a long time to rebuild my self esteem enough to reclaim my badassness....but it will happen. I'm not sure if you will see this, more unsure of you caring but I need to voice it. I love you to my soul and the thought of my life without is an overwhelming heartache. I am broken now but in time, without the constant tearing down, I will become me again. I tried to hate you and I couldn't. I will admit to the love that even you can't kill. I truly hope you find what you are looking for. I also hope you understand the depth of pain words cause. You were the best best friend I've ever had. Our memories fill me with joy so much that I find myself smiling recalling our adventures. You made me know that love is real and the feeling of being completly protected. I am sorry for not wanting to let you go. I now have to let you go and live your best life. I truly wish you happiness and hope you find your peace. One thing for sure is we did it big... nationwide baby