Dirges

Eugene OR

Description

There was a time when I loved posting cryptic messages on missed connections and something drew me here again tonight. There were a few certain individuals over the years I didn’t have the courage to face and declare my undying devotion to. I’m glad they never picked up the glove and responded. I have needed the time I’ve had for reflection and all the states I’ve traveled trying to re-write an old tale: my life story. Even goodbyes hold space, so I’m finally putting the finishing touches on the story I should’ve started with. That story I’ve always regretted never telling, the one about a daisy and not being ready for a boys kindhearted strength. As crazy as it seems I know I dreamt of you and your mother a few weeks back. I’ve thought myself a bit more accomplished in witchcraft than all that, but in all honesty I know I am not. I do not possess the courage to break all contact. Even if it’s only dreams that I can share with you now; you’ve saved me more times than I care to admit in this sphere the least I can do is comfort you in that one. There is no reason to feel sadness for your loss or the synchronization that I felt. I could be wrong, I didn’t know you then and dreams are often just images and not premonitions even for an elf like me. I smile when I say that even though it offended me when you did. Time changes even old souls. I can only guess that I am on the right track though so much feels off about this path. I am only rambling now to overshadow the fact that I am proud of you and to say that you’re still in my thoughts even though you’re not in my life. I think about you when I drive to the coast, partly because you live that way and partly because I knew I was in love with you at a lighthouse. I never thought of that until I took a trip up north and was reminiscing on the coast about a life filled with memories, even ones scorched by the desert. You were one of the best and I hope the story I glean from it will be well written, you deserve a little immortality yourself.