You will never know how much I miss you

Orlando FL

Description

We used to do everything together, I wanted so bad to tell you and show you while we were fishing that day, and then when you said you really liked my house so much, I wanted to invite you to stay forever. I will never stop thinking about watching movies together at your house, forever is a long time, but I want you forever, however you need someone wonderful, not me, you need someone full of life, you need someone not afraid to live. I am not afraid of death, but apparently I am afraid of life, worn out, not exciting, full of sorrows and regrets. My heart is broken for you but I will not allow you to be dragged down to me, I await the end at its earliest convenience. All the best to you! Although it hurts my soul, it is the best for you. My future is different, I accept my damaged soul, sorrow is a history, it is created, it cannot merely be fixed, it happened, my grief for my lost history tears my soul from my heart, why do we exist, why do I exist, no one should have to endure when all is lost, why are we so adamant about surviving, what is the point, what is the reward.... is it to find happiness again, is it to find love again. My heart withers, my love cries to end, please give me the strength to find the end, only the person who has come back from the depths of loss and despair knows that it is possible, the problem is not what is possible, that’s what I do not want, I have been defeated before, and I have reached down to the very bottom depths of my soul to reach for that 1 ounce of sheer will to fight back, but this time it is just too much, there will not be any reaching, my soul is yours to have, I will serve you till my last breath, but you will never know I have buried to keep you safe for me. I have given a piece of my heart before, but I give it to you freely and entirely, my soul has already forsaken me, what is left will watch as life dances around me, I give all, I asked for nothing in return. To Tony, I will gladly talk to you in person only