Mandatory removal of right-wing children from public schools

Natick MA

Description

As a social sciences institution it is our duty to perform statistical studies and surveys. As we have recently published in The New England Journal of Medicine, and is a study now widely accepted, children of right-wing parents are far more likely to bring guns and illegal substances to school as well as engage in bullying and cult-like behaviors. Our studies prove that 93% of all violent crimes perpetrated on school grounds are from troubled children of right-wing voters. Furthermore, our studies prove that those who believe in a higher power, God or deity are 97.6% more likely to commit a crime as they believe they'll be forgiven. This leads us to the fact that 99.4% of all school shootings were perpetrated with a right-wing parents firearm. Lastly, our surveys prove that 98.5% of responsible parents prefer their children do not associate or share a classroom with the troubled students. There is no mistaking our results, they paint the picture clearly. In order to learn we must feel safe and welcomed. Our children cannot feel this with the state of society. These children are a danger to our society and must be banished from our schools to keep the children safe. Therefore, as protectors of American society, we have taken it upon ourselves to use our knowledge, power and clout to petition the schools of Massachusetts for removal of said students. Through many board meetings with local towns we have gathered the approval rate of 92.65% of all Superintendents of Public Scchools who are eager as well to permanently remove these students. The far we were also able to collect a total of 378,892 signatures of parents endorsing our movement and 178,581 signatures of townsfolk without children who also endorse a safer atmosphere for our youth. With your help we have been able to remove the children of right-wing parents in Milford, Orange, Lowell and many other towns. Together we can and will make a great change to rid our society of hatred because we cannot do it alone. Today we are reaching out in search of other advocates who are willing to spread the word and help us collect signatures. Together we can transport society to its next stage - a stage of peace and love. Thank you for caring and we look forward to working with you. ❤ 🌈 🌻