You hate me right now and don't want to see my face. The drugs make you forget me even more, forget reality, they make you resent me. I'm not the same when you first met me because I had to watch you forget me and fall out of love with me, thinking I hurt you when I didn't. I never left. I had to watch my person, my home, lose their reality and I tried to stop a sinking ship but I couldn't. I don't want to lose you. I'll lie on the bottom of the ocean floor with you until we wash back ashore. I'm not lying to you, but I can't fight a delusion, I wish you'd trust me. I would do anything. I miss it so much, I'm doing what I can to get it back and I'm seeing that might mean letting go a little bit. I think I held on too tight, hoping that'd make it better, prove to you how much I care, I think I just stressed you out and lost myself. Just don't give up. Keep fighting, stop self destructing. I'm waiting to wash ashore with you because the few months I had with you are worth fighting a hell of a lot longer for. I just want to be a happy idiot with you. You'll probably never see this and that's okay. Putting it out there helps.
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