RE: do you still care?

Longview WA

Description

I’ll always care, probably never going to stop... he is not my boyfriend, if he were things between you and I would not exhaust. it’s been a couple weeks since we last spoke..... When we met up in person (after weeks of NONSTOP 24/7 texting/snapping/Facebook messaging...) nI could see the disappointment/disgust on your face when you saw how ugly I am actually... Snapchat and Facebook filters obviously work very well!!! (I’m not actually that ugly, most men say hot, thick and stuff...but I don’t have the best teeth, can’t afford them and terrified of dentists.......) I feel like such an idiot because I fell so hard...... we’re so much alike and I even had a crush on you way back in our elementary school days... back when I was a chubby, awkwardly clumsy little girl that knew someone like you cause you could never love someone like me..... But you made me feel special.... talking to you made every bad, mean, degrading, insulting, abusive thing that my “boyfriend “ said to me that day (or ever tbh) feel like it wasn’t reality anymore..... I felt like I wasn’t just his worthless punching bag(metaphorically and literally speaking....) I’m so sad that I am not beautiful enough for you.... I really thought you were my prince in shining armor coming to sweep me off my feet and treat me like a princess for the rest of our lives... . . we could have been beautifully amazing together.... you said so yourself...... Oh well..... I’m doomed to be a punching bag for the rest of my life anyways..... Girls like me don’t get a knight..... No happily ever after...... I’ve come to terms with that, or at least I had thought so at least... Then here you come stomping in, giving me compliments, listening to me, not belittling me or hitting me and I fell hard.... Why me??? The funny thing is a few years ago my brother and you spent time in county together and you “jokingly “ said you were going to “bang his sister” when you got out, didn’t happen btw, and I told you I knew, you were embarrassed thinking you sounded like a “tool” Not really to me tbh but you ghosted me over something that is the most superficially tool shit ever thought of ever.... I realize that this is a long mess of a post and I apologize for it, i just had to let it out and vent because I’m so tired of feeling this way....