Oh where oh where oh where did my Doctor go?

Kiev, San Diego CA

Description

Once upon a time you were just a doctor with a cool voice, and you'd call super promptly on the phone. I thought "This guy is young, he has a nice voice. I wonder what he looks like." This was at the start of the pandemic. I'd just switched to a new health care provider, and you were my new GP. Somehow, I mean Somehow you always called way sooner than my telehealth appointments, and also somehow, our conversations trailed off into debates about what's better for my health. I said I was tired all the time. ALL the time. You said with said voice, "I think you better come in." Like....in person? During a pandemic? I get to see theeee Dr?? In the flesh?" I figured I'd have to wait a week or a few days, for an appointment, like a normal person. But no - your level of care is intergalactically good, so you said "You could come now." So an hour ish later, there I was. I had NO FREAKING CLUE what you looked like but I knew the moment I saw an unidentifiable masked man that it had to be you, and it was. I imagined you as properly tall and you were totally taller than I planned with the proper amount of scruff. I tried to look at the tiny photo on your picture ID but it that was hopeless and it was virtually impossible to tell what you looked like. I still have NO IDEA what you really look like and still don't. You're practically invisible on the internet which I suppose adds to the intrigue. You had the world's most giant N95 on, so guessing what you looked like was not gonna happen, but I'd like to think you were handsome underneath all that. We talked, you ordered an ungodly amount of bloodwork. You printed out an article which challenged my thoughts on what we discussed on the phone, and I said, "treat the patient, not the test." Time has blended together as well as our visits but I'm certain you remember one thing: I couldn't contain my utter confusion about your a ring you were wearing so the next time you were on the phone I asked you about it, and you told me about it and we laughed about it. At some point I saw you again for a shot of cortisone.....and that was the last time I ever saw you. I don't know where you've been, but secretly I've thought to myself that at some point in the cosmic timeline you'd end up single and I'd ask you to go for coffee and you could fire me as your patient if you wanted. I'm pretty sure you're with someone else, but some part of me always had this feeling that somehow you got cheated in the happiness department. I'd always felt nothing but pure happiness any time you'd call. Which is strange to say about a person you don't know. I know there's that whole transference thing and it's totally a thing for patients to fall in love with their doctors, but this was different, because I think you felt it too. More concerning is that your whereabouts seem oddly elusive. Nobody knows. Did you get Covid? Did you lose a parent? Are you grieving? Cuz there's like, "I'm on vacation" time away, and then theres "oh something bad happened", and you've stretched into the zone of deep grief and something bad. So wherever you are in the world, I hope you're okay. Even if you aren't single, you're the type of person I'd invite to a house party, or to bake bread. Should you ever get this message and you're out of the witness protection program, (I'm convinced that's where you've gone) - if you feel the same way and this message somehow finds you and I'm not fired as your patient (HAHA) - you can start with "So I'm not in Witness Protection"....and I suppose the rest would be....up to you. :) (Actually up to me. I want a family and like 3 kids and wouldn't date someone who didn't want those things....I used to want to live far away, but I'm utterly terrified of running out of things to talk about with someone and being bored....I don't think I'd ever grow bored of you.) XO Patient 998*2**1