Description
The pain of ostracism- the pain of being cast out of one’s own community- it changes a person.
It feels like a dense weight, a lingering tightness in the chest- constricting and palpable- a shortness of breath.
Disposable, irredeemable, of no value. always already harmful
What a joke it all was,
coming out
To think I then buried my voice, stalled my career and invalidated my trau ma as an act of repentance- the indefinite monstrosity of my being
Intellectually i know I deserve more.
emotionally I think I deserve everything bad that has ever happened to me esp the chronic pain btw my legs which increases when turned on, forever repelled and cancelled by my own desire
Discussion
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