With Two Bs

Atlanta GA

Description

For years I followed your life like I was lost. I longed for a drink of water walking far across the desert of your life watching you exclude me and pass me over, hoping for a day you might give me more than the occasional drop to keep me hooked and give me a real drink of water. I drew a picture of you then, in the days when things were easy and free. A picture of flowers growing up from your loins, an expression of my confusion for your lust for my body married with your sporadic romantic interest in me. You could not be tamed, not by me at least. You always thought me stagnant, while you can trust that geographic position has little to do with enlightenment. I do hunger for adventure and visceral experience, but I am not so foolish to think changing my location will make me a more consistently outgoing person. Had you ever thought that you weren’t the only one who didn’t invite me out? I digress... One day, I had enough. I took down the picture that hung beside my bed for years, and removed all methods of contact. I’ve been mourning; not so much for the loss of a friend, but for the loss of all the time spent pining after someone who always had me in their rear view mirror. Part of me hopes that you’ll just pull into my driveway one day and ask me to go for a drink. Easy and free. The other part of me hopes I never hear from you ever again, lest you waste any more of my time. “What colors are a finch?” I should have asked you what kind of finch, smart ass.