“JJ” from PSU

Portland OR

Description

Now listen up, kid. You seemed young so maybe you haven’t had enough talks yet, but you’re about to get one. 1. Don’t ask a girl “do I know you” as you wander around a Whole Foods with no intention of buying anything. We’re all wearing masks that hide our face. We all know you don’t actually wonder that, you’re breaking the ice with the dumbest line ever. You don’t know her. 2. DO NOT QUIETLY FOLLOW HER TO HER APARTMENT BUILDING AND WAIT FOR HER TO OPEN THE DOOR TO ASK HER AGAIN. EVER. 3. Don’t ask her if she’s busy. She just went grocery shopping. She’s carrying food. She didn’t plan to be followed back by a stranger. She’s busy. 4. Assume that any name she gives you at this point, if she’s too scared to directly tell you to f**k off like I was because nobody else was around to help, is fake. 5. Don’t ask how long she’s been here. Why would that matter? You ruin your “do we know each other” angle that every other creep tries. 6. Creeping on women is creepy always, but is especially so DURING A PANDEMIC. 7. Don’t ask for her Snapchat. She’s not impressed by your stalking, and who tf still uses Snapchat anymore? This isn’t a missed connection so much as a SHOULD HAVE missed this connection. S-C-R-E-W Y-O-U, J-J F-R-O-M P-S-U!!