Judge Christopher Wilson Gives Pippi Longstocking To CWS

Eureka CA

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(Dumboldt News Service/Eureka): Today local news services reported that Judge Christopher Wilson confiscated Pippi Longstocking (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pippi_Longstocking) from the custody of her father, Captain Ephraim Longstocking, after Mr Longstocking admitted to the court that he asked his daughter to "keep her eyes peeled", while at sea, which, the Honorable Judge Wilson ruled, was a form of child abuse, similar to calling a child's cabin, a "pig sty". Judge Wilson also admonished Mr Longstocking for allowing his child to pick up her horse, as well as for having a monkey as a pet, socks that didn't match, and for having shoes that were too large. Captain Longstocking's sailing license has been confiscated until he has satisfied the court regarding his lack of a sailing license, and his craft, the SS Hoptoad, has been moved to the Sheriff's Dock, and has been sealed. The crew, and ex-Captain Longstocking, are now homeless, and can be seen outside The Shanty, begging for rum. The Swedish consulate has been trying to reach Judge Wilson all day but Judge Wilson has been "unavailable" and is believed to be watching Fox News, or possibly President Trump's Twitter feed, in search of education and enlightenment. We'll have more on this developing story after Pippi Longstocking meets her new parents, and her CASA, and tosses them up onto the roof. News at 11.