Not missed, simply never happening

Tucson AZ

Description

I wish I could know how to prevent that I'm falling for you. It's good to know that, if nothing else, you have no interest in anyone and for once, it isn't me. Does it still hurt? Yes. Do I wonder if something would be different if I had met you sooner? Yes. I wish I could change how my heart and mind work, but I can't help but feel something for you. It's so easy, so comfortable to just talk to you. To laugh and smile and wonder how it would be to be with you, if that ease would be there. I'm comfortable in myself when we're just existing. I know that, in my own skin, I can be a fun, caring, loving person, but I also know that this will hurt. I wish I could change how I am starting to feel, to convince my foolish heart that what you've said is true. But that's not how a heart works is it? Falling for someone isn't rational. If it were, it would be easy. It wouldn't be called a crush. But here we are. I know you won't change your mind. You've made that clear. It doesn't stop me from wishing and dreaming that maybe, just maybe, I can Crack through the wall you've built. For now, however, I will simply work to halt the progression of the inevitable. To slow down the pain I know will come. If you would let me, I would love to love you, but I will not press or ask for something that you have no interest in, because I respect you and care for you as my friend.