I'm so tired of being depressed and in pain all the time. It gets to a point where I don't know why I put so much effort into trying to be "well." It feels hopeless; the meds aren’t working and it’s so much work just to stay alive, and for what? I spend endless hours wasting my life away, pretending things are OKish when they're really not. I'm exhausted, but I also have insomnia most nights so I can't even sleep the time away. But most of all, my heart hurts from missing you so much. I sit by the window trying to work but really hoping to see you drive up. I wish I could reach out, I wish you would reach out; I wish you would come home. I somehow believe you will even though I know you won’t. I know you don’t think about me anymore; you had a new family even before ours ended, but if by chance you see this and think of me, I hope it’s with kindness. I know it’s not going to happen, but just hearing your voice would make my life bearable. If by any chance you see this, don’t worry (not that you would, you don’t care anymore); I'm not going to do anything to harm myself. I just feel defeated.
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