I'm Returning Your Cloak

Danbury CT

22 February, 2021

3:54 PM

Description

Dear Reader, I want to warn you that this may trigger some readers, particularly those who have endured assault. When I was 4, my teenaged uncle sexually assaulted me. I told my parents later that day. My father, David Wayne Welch of Danbury, CT, was livid. This was a curious response since he would begin sexually assaulting me the following year. My father continued to sexually assault me for 7 years. It stopped only after I disclosed a sexual assault by my grandfather, Luther Marion Welch of Bloomfield, IN, which took place in the presence of my father, although whether or not he saw is up for debate. This was not the first time my grandfather sexually assaulted me. One night in particular, he took me into his bed and sexually assaulted me while my grandmother laid mere inches away. She was not asleep. They called me a liar, an attention grabber, and sexually aggressive. I was 12. The incident did however scare David enough for him to run away and never contact me again. I wrestled with sending this letter, which has been written and rewritten in my head for the past three decades. I only share it now knowing I can say with certainty that I am doing so for the right reason. Many drafts were written with revenge in mind, but the anger is long passed. Justice seemed a good reason for many years, however the statute of limitations expired years before I was ready. I'd like to say that I am writing this to protect others, but that’s not entirely true, either. My reason is completely selfish. I am writing this for me: 4 yr old me, 5 yr old me, 6, 7 yr old me, 8, 9, 10, 11, and 12 yr old me, and all the mes who followed. They have always been stronger and braver than David or Luther. With this letter, I officially shed the heavy cloak of shame, fear, and guilt I’ve worn for 43 years, and I return it to its rightful owners. Shauna Cooperider Columbus, OH F**k the patriarchy