Sometimes I look at myself walking in store windows just to see if you’d recognize me if I happened to walk by, and I don’t think that you would. Not in a big dramatic “oh they’ve forgotten me” way, but in a way that makes me quietly sad. The last time I saw you it was still warm at night, and now we’re wearing winter clothes and our hair’s hidden under hats and we walk faster to get back inside where it’s warm.
I thought I saw you the other day and I almost didn’t recognize you because you were wearing a new coat, and I used to know all of your coats. I’d see them every day hanging by the door, and I’d worn some of them on the days when I had forgotten mine at home. And after I saw you I thought about you sitting on your couch trying to decide which new coat to get, and it made me quietly sad again.
Sometimes I think that it would be easier if I didn’t feel like I saw you every time I left my house. It would be easier if every new winter coat didn’t have the potential to be you, but instead I look at every face hoping and not hoping that this is the one you chose as you sat on your couch.
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