My presidential bid

Troy MI

Description

After 6 months of gaining bipartisan disdain on Craigslist, I'm ready to put in my bid for Prez. I've learned and honed such useful presidential skills as pushing buttons and pissing off people regardless of political persuasion. Here are my policy goals: - No more lawsuits. All disputes now to be settled in Denny's parking lots. - Will ban all guns other than fully automatic and will place a lower limit on magazine size to 100 rnds. Exception will be made for single action army revolver, but those will only be allowed in Denny's parking lots. - Trump's wall will be replaced with a trench filled with Dentists' laughing gas. Not sure what this will accomplish but it'll be a fun thing to try. - UBI will be instated; each individual now gets one gallon of vanilla ice cream weekly. - Marijuana now mandatory (thanks Bill Hicks for that wonderful idea) - Bill Hicks now on $20 bill, as well as ice cream lids. I think that about sums it up. Any questions?