CDC Suicide Alert and Directive

Taylor MI

Description

CDC Directive Concerning Recent Spike in Suicides There has been a recent spike in suicides in states that Donald Trump lost in the past Presidential Election. Every person who has committed suicide in America since November 7th voted for Trump in the past presidential election. This is both concerning and satisfying for real Americans who love our democracy. As more Trump supporters take their lives, real Americans will be left to protect and defend this American experience. If all 74 million citizens who voted for Trump commit suicide, and that certainly is my fervent hope and prayer, America's funeral homes and cemeteries will be paralyzed by the burden placed on the industry. Therefore, we need a plan to deal with these corpses that will need to be dispose of after these Trump supporters cut their wrist, inject themselves with Lysol, drink a gallon of aquarium cleaner, hang themselves in their grandmother's basement, sit in their cars in their garages while the motor is running, or eat a.223 from their soon to be outlawed AR-15's. Therefore, all Trump supporters who plan to take their lives this year must receive a clearance from their local health department prior to "offing" themselves. Thank you in advance for following the most important public health care directive.