Help me find a better family!

Eugene OR

Description

"Somebody, please help me!" “Everything was great until my little sister surprised us with kittens. Thankfully, most of them went away, but two stayed, and now I need to get the hell out of here. Having one sister was fine, I don’t even mind one of the kittens that much, but the other one…… aargh! I just want to rip his huge face off every time I see him! Hey, I waited until he had reached maturity before I started trying to kill him, I’m not THAT much of a jerk. The People have tried all kinds of things to get us to be friends for a long time now: pheromone sprays, medicines, reintroductions- yadda yadda yadda, but it just isn’t going to happen! I am a lone Wolf-literally; The Kid named me Wolfie (short for Wolfrazer, *snort* 5 year olds… at least I didn’t get a cheesy name like Whiskers or something). But the tension has made everybody upset, even my sister and the other kitten are mad at me, I know they snitch on me to The People, telling them that I am a jerk to them and stuff, but I am just so stressed out! Look, it’s not my fault, I was taken away from my mom WAY too young and tossed out on the street. When The People found me, I was a wreck, and I’ll admit, I’ve never been the best-behaved cat, I mean, water from human glasses just tastes better than water in the bowl, OK, but they’re too darn tall, and I don’t mean to knock them over, they just keep falling over! And, yeah, I go outside and get into fights, I got scars, I spent time on the streets yo, gotta keep my cred intact. But I just can’t handle this anymore. It’s too much. Because I can’t control myself, and go after that big cowardly, Jerkface every time I see him, I get in trouble. I don’t deserve this! But they won’t get rid of The Jerkface ‘cuz he’s such a big wussy baby, and won’t let anyone but The People near him. I need to be the only cat in the family, OK, and, I am really an affectionate cat. The Lady says that I am just as lovey as I am a jerk, I love to sit in laps, (as long as nobody tries to pet me, or move) but the best thing in the world is a pair of broad shoulders! Forget the kitty climber stuff, give me a tall guy, with broad shoulders and I am the happiest cat in the world. I got this idea from the dog. He had another family, and said it was OK, but not great, and this family is much better. Help me find a better family? Please?”