LOSERS HATE THIS AD!!

Springfield IL

Description

LOCAL RESIDENTIAL & COMMERCIAL CLEANING COMPANY - Cleaning Techs (part time & full time) We are hiring for daytime hours. Basic cleaning tasks. Minimum age is 25 ("Why?" you may ask...because those younger than that are typically cry babies who have no clue what it means to have a job and to work. IF, however you are younger than 25 and can demonstrate that you are responsible (my definition NOT YOURS) and worthy of consideration I encourage you to apply - there will be no softening of requirements, nor reduced workloads) No felons, and no we are not interested in the "yeah but" story. We will check. No DUI in last 3 years, also not interested in the "yeah but" story. We will check. No job hoppers. You guessed it - we will check. You will submit to random and pre employment drug testing. If you fail the cost of the test is deducted from (wait for it)...............................your FINAL paycheck. We are NOT interested in hiring you if you have been fired from another cleaning company. We are not trash collectors and don't want their problems infecting us. You were fired for a reason - be a big boy or girl and realize that there are consequences for your actions. And yes, we will check on this too. You must have reliable transportation to work every day. This does not mean your neighbors boyfriends second cousin's girlfriend might be able to give you a ride. We are located near a bus stop. We will not come get you nor will we give you a "small advance" so you can buy that piece of crap car your baby daddy's brother has been working on for the past 6 years. You must reside in Springfield...this means in Springfield, not Riverton, not Pawnee, not Bloomington. No whiners, drama queens, princesses, or other pains in the ass. Need to add that all of these can be male or female...yeah there are a bunch of guys that fit those descriptions perfectly! We will not have to check as these are quite obvious. This is a new one - if you do not own an alarm clock AND know how to use it go elsewhere. We are not interested in teaching you basic life skills. If you are simply looking to indicate on the unemployment form that you applied with us just lie, we will say you were here - do not waste our time. FOR DAYTIME HOURS (typically residential work): You must be available Monday through Friday between 8am and 5:30pm. This means at work ready to work at 8am. Not waking up at 8am. You will be required to work an occasional weekend or evening shift. Please read that again. If it is unclear go elsewhere. FOR EVENING HOURS (typically commercial work): You must be available Monday through Saturday between 6pm and 6am. This means at work ready to work at 6pm. Not waking up at 6pm. You will be required to work an occasional daytime or weekend shift. Please read that again. If it is unclear go elsewhere. Pay will a base rate PLUS bonus pay based upon performance. Please, if you plan on showing up in your pajamas, smelling of cigarette smoke, reeking of alcohol, or if your baby daddy is planning on waiting in the car with the radio blaring save yourself the hassle of responding. NO YOU MAY NOT BRING YOUR KID TO THE INTERVIEW, NOR TO WORK. This is a job. If you are not sure how to act or what is expected you should seek coaching prior to embarrassing yourself. A quick note to all the craigslist lawyers and bleeding heart liberal snowflakes...I do not care to hear your opinions about how rude, or disrespectful this ad is. Nor do I care to hear the BS that everyone deserves....blah blah blah. You are likely a large part of the need for this type of bluntness. Find someone who actually cares about hearing your opinion as I can assure you I do not. SO...you made it this far. You are either interested in applying or wanting to express your personal dissatisfaction with the harshness and offensiveness of this ad. If you want to apply simply press "Reply" - it is located at the top left of this page. When you do you will need to send at LEAST the following: your name, in what town you live, your telephone number and a brief outline of what job you currently have ("none" is ok) and what jobs you have had (also "none" is ok). hint...just saying "interested" or "you still looking for people" will not demonstrate your abilities. At least try to be creative. If you are the latter and simply made it this far to express how offended you are simply press the "I am a snowflake" button also on this page and convey to all that are interested your feelings. Good Luck.