Replacement needed for conservative / Republican broadcast

Chapel Hill NC

Description

I have been broadcasting a weekly conservative talk show for four years and seeking a replacement for my side kick, Bill. Bill would sit beside me during the broadcast, mostly drunk, picking his nose and flicking boogers, scratching himself and shouting nasty slurs. Unfortunately, Bill suffered a breakdown during the Biden inauguration, and has been committed, where he is straight jacketed and babbles on about Q. While I wish Bill the best, I am seeking a replacement and understand that just about any conservative Republican in the Triangle area could replace Bill. The job is it's own reward, but also, you will be paid by Q when the "storm" begins. We think Q is on vacation right now, but we know you have faith that he will come back and pay you for your work. Interested parties, please respond here.