Aggressive Woman at Wonderland

Washington DC

Description

On Saturday, December 17th, I was at The Wonderland Ballroom in Columbia Heights. I rolled up to the bar, and next to me were two young men and two young women. One of the guys said to me, "Excuse me sir, but you have spectacular hair! Truly outstanding!" I thanked him, and he turned to his friend and said, "So much better than my friend's hair! Good hair (points to me), Bad hair! (points to his bald friend)" The bald friend was clearly mortified and was utterly speechless. The two young women laughed while covering their mouths. I was filled with second hand embarrassment, and wanted so badly to assuage the bald man's shame. I said, "This is a wig!" which was clearly a lie. They all laughed. You, a cute, petite, brunette, must have felt attracted to me, and emboldened. You jumped off of your bar stool and grabbed my hair saying, "There's no way this is a wig!" I resisted, and felt some sparks between us, so I gently put my arms around your waist and gently pushed you toward me. The mean guy said, "Hey hey hey buddy! Stop!!!" The bartender also reacted similarly. The mean man and his bald friend cursed me out. I just left. Look, that was a bizarre encounter to say the least. Did I behave inappropriately? Under the circumstances, I do not think so, or at least we all did. What was I supposed to do? Put my hands in my pockets and say, "Madam, please stop, I beseech you!" You're probably not a bad person and regret doing that. You know how people often point out that Abraham Lincoln said this or that racist thing? And people respond with, "He was a product of his time." You are also a product of your time, and you did that because that kind of behavior usually flies with no consequences. We are clearly both attracted to each other, so let's get together. I can be your Henry Higgins, and you can be my Babe-raham Lincoln.