Description
Lookin' to start a lame cover band. I know there are a lot of other lame cover bands, but I am looking for aging, long-haired throwbacks from the 70's who can't come to grips that the 70's are OVER. We are a DRUMMAH and BASS PLAYAH. We like to drink beer and play LOUD. We drive shitty cars that are held together with that green duct tape you get when you work at Electric Boat. We are looking for a guitarist that only knows pentatonic scale, a guitarist that once you put a guitar in his hands, in his mind he becomes a BLUES MASTER. We want a guitarist that knows EVERY stinkin' cliche ever used. You MUST play a CHIBSON thru a MARSHALL. We encourage drunkenness at practice. But we usually never practice. We plan to play out at all the HIP places like RENEGADES and places like that where it doesnt matter how good you are. Too bad ROSIE'S closed! That woulda been a good hip place. We want to RECORD. I have a BOOMBOX set up ready to go! Long hair and beer belly a MUST. Loud, obnoxious behavior when waiting to play. We wanna play ALL the typical songs that are DONE TO DEATH and beat them into the ground even MORE! Stairway to heaven, Smoke on the watah, you get the idea. We wanna draw the same pathetic crowds out peers draw. Slovenly fat women shaking their massive asses on the dance floor! Dudes in coked-out stupors wondering where they are. Damn, I am getting turned on thinking about it! Because we all know the only reason we got started in this business was to pick up chicks!
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